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The Endorsement Question February 20, 2008

Posted by adelle387 in politics.
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A number of people continue to ask me, now that John Edwards is out of the race, who will I vote for/who might JRE endorse? It’s been reported by this point that both Obama and Clinton have sought an Edwards endorsement, but it’s not clear if/when he will. I can’t really speak to the possibilities of his endorsement but I can discuss who I would like to vote for in the NC primary.

If I were a single-issue voter I would hands-down vote for Hillary Clinton. Health care is a huge issue for me. While her plan admittedly isn’t the most ideal – especially given her ties to the health insurance industry – it is stronger than Obama’s plan. A major weakness in his plan is that there is no mandate – which means health insurance is optional. So whatever plan he puts into effect, the people who bought insurance will be punished when their rates increase as a result of the people who didn’t buy it but still have access to emergency care; which is one of the main problems with the existing system. What really gets me is that even if Obama changed his mind, he has already made it politically impossible for himself to adopt a more universal plan with a mandate. When Obama attacked the JRE plan (and as a corollary, the Clinton plan) from the Right, essentially using Republican talking points for his criticism, he burned the bridge for universal health care in an Obama administration. That really pissed me off. If you want to ‘reach across the aisle’ to people who don’t want to help you, that’s fine. But if you’re going to join them in attacking solid policy emanating from your own party then just cross the ‘aisle’ and let’s get on with it.

But I digress. I’m not a single-issue voter… I’m slightly torn because I think Hillary would make a more stable and competent executive and while I think it’s great that Barack – excuse me – the Barackstar, is so popular that celebrities are making music videos for him, I don’t know if that translates to effective leadership in Washington. One of my big brothers, who is an enthusiastic Obama supporter, told me that he believes if Obama can unite so many voters across such a broad spectrum he’ll probably be able to do it in Washington as well. I remain skeptical. It’s one thing to be the voice of people who previously felt like no one represented them; it’s quite another to challenge entrenched, powerful interests with warm and fuzzy phrases like “yes we can.” But I do hope my brother is right, and that Obama doesn’t get run over by the conservatives in Congress and the Supreme Court.

I fear that Obama might get run over by the Democratic Party as well. One of the things that initially drew me to him after his speech before the DNC in 2004 was that he baldly spoke out against the stigma that “a black child with a book is acting white.” This is an issue very personal to my family as boosting ‘minority achievement’ is something for which both of my parents have volunteered hundreds (thousands maybe?) of hours. I and my siblings have been those token black students in the AP classes in high school and at not-so-diverse institutions of higher learning. When he made that statement I was like yeah! Finally – somebody is talking about this! And then it disappeared; but what a missed opportunity. Sure that wasn’t on the nation’s collective consciousness, but neither was poverty – before JRE made it an issue. Universal health care wasn’t an option – until JRE proved it was possible. Barack Obama had the chance to address real issues that are holding back a lot of individuals in this country. He could have taken on stigmas that go beyond de facto academic segregation in schools; he had the platform to make it an issue, but he didn’t. So I wonder what other convictions he’d be willing to shed to remain the darling of the Democratic party.

On the other hand, I believe that Hillary Clinton would be willing to tear apart the Democratic party in order to get ahead. I believe her priorities are 1) Hillary Clinton; 2) the Clinton machine; 3) the American special interests; 4) the American people. Case in point, her vote to designate Iran as terrorist organization (or whatever that issue was, it’s been a while). There she was saying that we should stand up to Bush, etc, and then she goes and votes with along with him on his chronic war-mongering. I personally think she did it to ingratiate herself with the conservatives for the general election. And now she’s trying to get the votes/delegates of Michigan and Florida to count even though they violated their agreement with the DNC and were punished pursuant to that agreement. Yes, it’s unfair to the people of those states that they’re being put in the middle of the the DNC’s dirty laundry but they need to take that up with their state leadership that decided to flaunt the rules. Furthermore, what about the people who didn’t vote because their votes wouldn’t be counted? Might it be unfair to them to assure them their vote would not be counted, thereby strongly discouraging voter participation, and then count the vote? I think Hillary is only fighting that fight because she wants those delegates.

And did I mention that a vote for Barack Obama is a vote for nuclear power? Because it is. And I am soooooo anti nuclear power. If we’re going to invest money to make it ’safe’ as Obama has suggested, why don’t we invest in energy that is truly safe and renewable? Because IL nuclear power companies have invested strongly in his campaign, that’s why. To Hillary’s credit, she does not support nuclear power.

As it stands, I think that hypothetically Hillary Clinton would be a good executive, but with the exception of health care I’m not so trusting of her or her policy choices. I respect that Barack Obama has inspired so many people to participate in the political process, I think that’s fantastic; but I’m not convinced about his policy choices either, or his ability to stand his ground. And I must say, I’m not committed to politics; I’m much more a believer in policy. I believe that sound policy, when communicated well and sufficiently funded, is really what can change lives.

(All) that being said… I’ll probably support Obama in the NC primary (ahem, once I register to vote). I do believe that we need change – although I don’t necessarily believe that Obama will bring it. My hope is that all the people he has inspired to vote will remain a part of the process and begin to change it from the grassroots level, that they’ll call their congressmen and women to hold them accountable, that they’ll become more engaged in policy discussions, and that they’ll be motivated to do more than cast their vote. I don’t think Obama represents ‘change we can believe in’, but the individuals that support him do.

The Greatest Journey… really? February 9, 2008

Posted by adelle387 in Back in the U.S.A..
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New York Times online: according to an ad for luxury Louis Vuitton, “Love is the greatest journey.”

Love is in the air – and on the air – as Valentine’s Day approaches.   Last night at a noisy bar I had a lengthy heart-to-heart with a friend about love (following on the heels of last weekend’s heart-to-heart at a different bar).  He believes that people should make sacrifices and take chances for love – which is nothing I haven’t heard before, but still I found it refreshing to hear him say it.  I had to wonder, who among my friends has taken or will take a chance for love?  My peer group is made up of independent, intelligent, world-traveling women.  Some of us would gladly take the label of feminist, but regardless of labels, who among us would fight for a relationship?  Who among us would willingly alter the course of our lives for another person?  It’s not a question of being comfortable taking chances… but which chances we’ll take, and the justifications we have.

And is love really the greatest journey?  What about self-discovery?  I imagine those two journeys can be very closely linked.  Love seems like such a confusing, nebulous thing… it frightens and intimidates people; might it be better to not seek it out?  That’s what a journey implies to me – searching for something or reaching a destination.  Excuse me while I put on my Merriam-Webster hat for a minute… If you’re looking for something that’s called a search.  If you’re going somewhere that’s taking a trip.  If you’re traveling without a destination you’re wandering.  And yes, of course, “not all those who wander are lost…” (who said that?)  I’m not sure what any of this is supposed to mean…  This isn’t even a subject that I’m generally comfortable thinking about because it is so confusing and even if you think you’ve reached an answer in your head how do you possibly apply this to life?  And what are all these platitudes about love and sacrifices and chances worth, if you can’t actually apply them to your life, or if nobody is willing to?

A Personal Note February 8, 2008

Posted by adelle387 in Back in the U.S.A..
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I didn’t eat anything yesterday.

That’s not exactly true… I had a bowl of oatmeal in the morning and most of a cup of hot cocoa in the evening.  But at least I managed not to spend the day in bed.  I strongly preferred forced sleep over facing the day, but that was only sustainable for the first few hours as I couldn’t continue to ignore my morning hunger.

I guess you could say I’m going through a rough patch right now.  I realized yesterday that my sense of satisfaction with life was far more delicate than I originally thought.  It became clear to me yesterday when the one thing in my life that I was excited about started going to pieces.  Deprived of the joy it gave me I realized I had nothing else in my life bringing me joy.

I understand this is all very vague, so let me bring it in…

Joblessness has been tough for me because I’ve tried hard to be employed and it hasn’t happened yet.  I thought setting a goal might help so I ‘decided’ that I would have a job and a place to live (in Chicago) by my birthday, January 29th.  What I learned from that is that you can’t place a timeline on those things!  I was giving myself 3 weeks to get a job and move half-way across the country… ambitious, and quite possibly impossible.  My birthday itself was a really tough Sixteen Candles -esque day as my birthday seemed to be only a minor afterthought for my family, and that morning the harsh reality of my job situation came crashing down on me.  After a phone interview with a company in Chicago in the morning I realized that my plan wasn’t going to work.

Plan B – unemployment benefits – didn’t work either.  I applied for unemployment benefits from the state of Iowa, but I was told that as I didn’t work in the United States in the previous year I wasn’t eligible for unemployment benefits until April.  I think everybody knows by now that I’m still owed over $2000 by my Japanese employer who went bankrupt; and I’m not eligible to receive unemployment benefits from Japan either.

So here I am, ineligible in America and screwed by Japan; no solid job prospects and no income.  Sure, I have potential; I’m young and bright, have an interesting resume (a job in Japan and a presidential campaign!), etc; but I’m still unemployed.

So my joy, when I have it, is in people – my friends in Chapel Hill and my boyfriend in California.  Long distance relationships are hard, but for the right person you want to try  to make it work…
I think this is maybe the most personal blog I’ve done.  Suffice it to say, I’m losing my sources of joy.  I know I’ll always have my friends but when the patch gets rougher and rougher that little bit of balm can still only go so far.  Today I got out of bed and put on make-up and a skirt; played a little bit of Attack on Facebook (my new favorite thing to do).  I often wish I could go to sleep and wake up in three months.  I got out of the house yesterday and met up with some friends who were studying at a coffee shop.  I tried to be productive and apply for a job.  I ended up just crying a lot.  Even on the way home I was sobbing so hard everything was blurry.  And I didn’t eat.

Today I only spent an extra hour in bed – and that was with a book.  I had my daily bowl of oatmeal… but I’m still not hungry.